#let me know if anyone is interested lmao
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whenever I see anything about the fallen children in undertale I get hit by a wave of all the headcanon and the background stories I gave all of them
this is the closet thing I have to OCs and they are my babies and I love them !!
#really want to talk about it but can't justify it#let me know if anyone is interested lmao#undertale#undertale fan art#undertale art#undertale fallen humans#undertale fallen children#undertale human souls#human souls#fallen children#justice#bravery#integrity#love#patience#kidness#perseverance#my babies#ocs#my ocs#frisk#undertale chara#undertale frisk#my art#this is too many tags im sorry
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Arcane ships ranked, for fun
The main ships and some rarepairs I've found, I like pretty much everything in the first 4 rows. I probably missed some but idk what they are and I'm too lazy to add more rn.
feel free to add your thoughts or ships but again its just for funsies :)
#you can probably tell which characters I like most by how many ships of them I know lmao#ignore the many tags im legit just rambling abt my thoughts on each ship#caitvi is in its own rank cause Im not playing with caitvi fans they are correct that is the best ship even if I like other some ships more#arcane#arcane s2#arcane spoilers#caitvi#jayvik#timebomb#lest arcane#whats the ship name for mel and lest?#lestel? idk im not calling them melest lol#mel x lest#catcouncil#oo is that it? it came up when typing. thats kinda cute but also vague#vilco#ik that one for sure#vanco#jaymelvik#mel x sevika#idk the ship name for that one either I actually just found out abt it but editing the pic for them convinced me to ship them#idk if anyone else ships ambessa and viktor there were only 4 fics on ao3 under it but i ship it cmon he's her type#she would eat him for protein#jaymel#melvik#i actually like both of these ships but they're infinitely better as poly imo#dont know how many people ship viktor and vander either but i saw a lot of potential in act 2 for it with all their astral plane connecting#sevika x ambessa#that would be hot but also hate sex probably#I love sky but i do not ship her and Viktor he just is clearly not interested and she kinda lets go of her crush on him before dissolving
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I know The Founders Cut, generally, is the edited scrubbed over version of genloss from Showfall in-universe (as well as a not-8-hour-long-three-stream-binge-night whenever we want to watch it again) but something that struck me as odd and I haven’t seen anyone mention yet, is this warning
It shows up right at the junction where the third act starts, where it appears the Hero is breaking free of Showfall thanks to Hetch. But here’s the thing, while a LOT less than the previous acts the audience still played a significant role in this act, even when really only given two audience interaction choices. Which makes me wonder, how real is this warning, and who is it for? Obviously the audience involved knows what happens past this point, but the audience is also implied to be an integral part of the Social Experiments, which is part of why things start to tweak out when the Founder removes them in the Founder Cut as the Generation Loss generation loses.
My first thought, was that obviously this is another bait and switch, a way to draw the audiences attention, seeing something that’s secret, something that’s not “meant for them”, which is a tactic I could see Showfall using in universe to keep people’s attention and add an air of mystery to their shows.
But
Showfall is doing all their experiments and these shows with a LOT of help from their censors to show it off, displaying a fun silly show that is definitely not uber fucked up and that is 100% just slime don’t worry about it, it’s kid friendly if it’s green! And I don’t think they’d want to bet all their cards on this one experiment doing well enough to their audience to not question the sudden shift in tone that follows this warning. Which makes me wonder.
They did their test, they did their experiment, and the evidence of this last act? I think it was a one time run, they don’t want anyone seeing this, it isn’t for the audience. Act three is specifically to both test and play with their Hero, Hetch’s new lines add a level to this, never once does he call the Hero by their name, just refers to Ranboo as their Role, and he’s not exactly. Nice? About literally any of Ranboos concerns, which wouldn’t really seem conductive to making an audience trust him, especially with his monologue at the end. Ranboo has escaped before, possibly right before act 1 started, they tightened the security on his mask to be unremovably part of them, Hetch doesn’t like the Hero but they’re a fan favorite so he can’t just get rid of them.
Act three is the cumulation of Ranboo being punished for things they don’t remember, for daring to break free from Showfalls control, this is Hetch taking the Hero and essentially majorly fucking and manipulating them to take his frustration out on a fan favorite they can’t otherwise get rid of or give a smaller role like Slimecicle. which is exemplified by the fact that we now know Charlie most likely was never able to actually able to fully snap out of the control, that even in act three in panic and confusion there was at least still a part of him being influenced by Showfall.
So the first two acts are the usual show, they have their posters, they have Squiggles to introduce them, they have goofs and silliness and only a couple slip ups that’re quickly dealt with, the usual rose tinted curtains. Act three?
Do not watch the following material
#or Showfalls just bein silly goofy and pretending they’re letting us in on a secret that isn’t one and playing off the reveal of#what they’re up to as just another plot of a show and hey that isn’t real don’t worry it#but I also think Hetch is really truly throwing Ranboo around like a ragdoll for more than just audience entertainment during act three#I think it could tie in to Chronicle Zero though. if Zeros dreams are connected to what happened to Ranboo then she knows something#Showfall would have a vested interest in her. not in fact. knowing that#and maybe trying to make her not know about any it anymore in a very Showfall kinda way#I’m less versed in what’s going on with Chronicle Zero tbh but I’m tryin. I fuckin love Gen loss#robot rambles#generation loss#genloss#Ranboo#I’m doin the thing where I ramble but it’s my blog I do what I want here#and I’m having hard life stuff happen irl rn so I’m clinging to genloss because it brings me joy and the timing of the FC was super helpful#also if anyone was curious I think Hetch is a bitch but I do acknowledge the possibility of him also being controlled#and I don’t think we’ve seen the last of him#but that’s stuff for not-in-this-post lmao#I had a theory tag at some point but imma be so fr I Do Not Remember what it was
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Reading loz/lu fics and it's just so interesting how wide the spectrum is of their personalities.
Sometimes it's got an in universe reason (different past (usually gender or species change), recent or ongoing traumatic events, a spectacularly bad first meeting), but sometimes (often) the characters are just... Weirdly angsty or peppy, there's no in between!
And I'm beginning to think less people have played more than one game than I thought XD.
Not that it's anyone's fault! One game is more than enough to be part of it all, and loz is exclusive to Nintendo consoles - and all the older stuff is frustratingly hard to get hold of. Heck, I'm still looking for wind waker, and that was really popular! And then you have to play it! They're not small games!!
But could people writing wild please ease off just a tiiiiiny bit so he can be a semi functional member of society pretty please XD? He's just as much a polite boy as any other member of the chain! He won't even run in shops! He can't attack npcs! He talks to every single person he's ever seen and remembers every single name. Yes, he's three quarters woodland creature with a hefty amount of trauma but he's also a fashionista who managed to avoid accidentally taking sides in a mayoral election and that's not easy!
#I have some actual gripes but that's just me being pedantic about something I know a lot about#loz#legend of zelda#tears of the kingdom#loz link#loz botw#loz totk#the legend of zelda#totk link#lu wild#Okay but please stop making his teleportation a point of interest to the chain they ALL can warp it's not even slightly special#And the slate/pad doesn't hold any items I'm begging you that's just fanon it's never been canon or been implied to be#Travelling across hyrule (on horseback) is about a week and a half following the paths at a walk. Rito to lurelin. It's not weeks on foot t#Hyrule Castle!!#This isn't a problem but like. Let link be petty brats to civilians occasionally. It's enrichment. They all have beef with some rando.#They're all extremely polite and let people get away with more than they maybe should but like. Adults starting smth with a 16yo.#Also wild has serious beef with ganon why does everyone write him so chill. Like botw sure but totk?? Absolutely not.#'wah my home is in ruins it's all my fault' it's been like that for yonks no one's even mad and hello?? Miles on miles on untouched#Landscapes?? Millenia of ruins indistinguishable from the recent stuff?? Link literally died he could not have done any more#How anyone can play botw/totk and not be BLISTERINGLY proud of hyrule I don't know#Okay but why does everyone (particularly legend omg) always bitterly blame hylia like loz has a dozen odd deities and hylia is the ONE who#Got cursed right alongside link. It's just... Idk but it seems like such a culturally Christian thing. All the focus on one who then gets#Blamed for everything in life going wrong. Not even Christian but specifically American Catholic. I don't know.#Hylia is the one deity we can pretty safely assume is neither omnipotent or omniscient lmao#In every time she has a voice (botk/ss) she pretty clearly mucks up or gets tricked and has regrets#In ss when she was zelda she hated every second of leading link around and even then it all hinged on link being completely willing!!#And then she got kidnapped anyway!#In totk (spoilers) she loses contact with one of her statues and asks link to check it out. Another statue gets POSESSED by ol triangle hea#And again link has to figure out the problem. Like even in her divine form she is so far from all knowing and all doing.#It's a lot of conflating with the concept of fate maybe?
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magic in asoiaf is genetic. and that is intresting. and the fact that grrm doesn’t shy away from the implications of this makes me love asoiaf even more.
because it’s very understandable that these people who could ride dragons would see themselves as more gods than men. it’s understandable that the practice of sibling-sibling incest would become common in order to keep this ability in the family/to not lose said ability. it’s also understandable that these people would see their race as superior because they are able to do these things that others could not.
it also makes complete sense that this human civilization collapsed in a horrific magical event due to their own hubris because they saw themselves as gods when they were always only men.
and that is peak world building.
some more peak world building is that the noble houses of westeros also clearly gained power and held onto their power through the use of their magical abilities inherited from their ancestors.
a godlike existence like Garth the Green being the ancestor of all the oldest and most noble of the reach houses makes perfect sense for this world!and it also makes sense that the lords without this ancestry are discriminated against in this region that still holds onto the values their society cultivated in the past in order to maintain their magical superiority, even though most of these noble and old houses no longer exhibit these abilities.
and it also makes sense that these people no longer have access to these abilities as they no longer practice the religion that was centered around these powers; plus their blood is simply diluted at this point as these houses have married into a different ethnic group so often that the magical gene just doesn’t surface anymore.
but the fact that it still matters if you can trace your ancestry back to Garth the Green? peak! peak! peak!
george does such an excellent job showcasing the stagnation of westerosi society here because why should it matter if you’re connected to this magic guy if magic is no longer commonplace? however, it also makes total sense that the ruling class of the reach still harps on and on about this as it’s how they maintain the status quo and differentiate themselves from those they consider lesser now that they no longer have access to magic themselves.
and this is also why it’s very important that the Starks still retain the blood of the first men. because the first men interbred with the children of the forest and other elder races, which is what gave these humans these powers. it’s also worth noting that before the direwolves connected with the Stark children, none of our current Starks were able to awaken their abilities by themselves, which shows that even now they are very far removed from their ancestor who’s genetic makeup gave this bloodline these abilities. and it makes sense that the Starks experienced this slow magical decline because magic itself was declining in the world after the doom of valyria.
another reason for this decline is because Andal culture started heavily influencing the North and slowly changed the way magic was perceived. so now in the present, a warg/skinchanger/greenseer has become something to fear being because that’d make you different and therefore puts your life at risk, which means that there’s now practically no safe environment to cultivate these abilities and no secure way to pass down any knowledge you do have about said abilities.
i can’t help but be reminded about how Jon Snow has rejected his nature and how that has led to the stagnation of his abilities, and then i think about Arya and Bran and how their new environments have led to an astonishing growth in their abilities, which shows that it’s not just genetics that matter, environment is also just as, if not more, important.
i bring all of this up because magic being genetic in asoiaf is not as problematic as people try to make it out as. in real life, sometimes people just have genetic gifts. some people can become olympians, and some people are disabled. some people are born 10 times smarter than the average human, and some people believe that covering their faces in lemon juice would turn them invisible. that is reality. and in this universe, some people have access to magic and some don’t, and it’s all based on genetics. it’s unfair! and that makes it realistic.
not everyone gets to ride dragons and not everyone gets to travel back in time, and that grounds asoiaf, which is what grrm was going for.
and how these societies have organized themselves in response to these genetic abilities and the dangers they pose makes absolute sense. on one hand we have the valyrian freehold, which was a magic hotspot and the people who lived there used magic to propel their society to new heights, and on the other hand we have the seven kingdoms that demonize anyone too different, and all magic practitioners are different from normal humans.
and the fact that george decided to go this route with asoiaf is so juicy to me cause:
we have characters like Varamyr and Euron who use their abilities to commit great evils and we know that their powers have influenced the way they see and interact with others. on the other hand we have characters like Dany who use their abilities to fight against evil violent institutions. and through characters like her we learn how vulnerable fledgling magic practitioners/characters with these abilities are to these older and more dangerous institutions and individuals who are perfectly aware about the knowledge gap between them and these younger characters and know exactly how to exploit them.
so, while it’s understandable that the fandom is uncomfy with the practices and values that grrm has written about, this isn’t bad world building by any means. it’s logical and well thought out. and i truly enjoy that grrm doesn’t shy away from writing about the more worrying aspects and implications of magic being a matter of genetics. i also like how the seven kingdoms and the valyrian freehold are kinda extremes on the matter of magic and how this is/was detrimental to both of these societies and at the individual level. a horrific magical firey doom is not any better nor any worse than a slow drawn out icey decline.
imo, what is important to remember is that in the world of asoiaf, people with magic are the ones who are discriminated against (bc most POV characters are in Westeros and magic is a no no there). so they are the ones who are in danger if they out themselves as magic users. now, it is true that some societies are more tolerant (Qarth is a great example of this and Valyria before the doom was likely the most tolerant to have ever existed in this world), but as of now most societies simply aren’t. remember jojens warning? he didn’t pull that out of his ass. bran would’ve been in a lot of danger if he came out and told the wrong people about his dreams/abilities. also, jon’s assassination may have been partly motivated by the mutineers fear of wargs. this is the life-threatening danger magic practitioners are in for simply existing in an intolerant society.
tbh the reason i typed all this up is because it’s very annoying when people try to ignore the reality, which is that the dragonbond depends on genetics. now, i’m sure there are other ways to ride a dragon, as dragons are magical animals so of course there may be a one in a million chance of a dragon allowing some rando to ride it, but this doesn’t change the fact that there is such a thing as a genetic ability that gives these certain humans the ability to form a connection with a dragon.
(another example that i can’t help but remember is that melisandre was able to get ghosts approval by using some of her tricks. of course there could be other reasons for ghost to have done this, but the most likely reason is that ghost simply fell for melisandre’s trick and this influenced how jon saw mel. but this doesn’t change the fact that melisandre will never have the kind of bond jon and ghost have because melisandre is not a warg. this is also another example of how vulnerable fledgling magic practitioners are to older ones.)
so, sorry not sorry that george decided to create a realistic representation of what a society would look like if only certain bloodlines were able to ride dragons <\3.
#this is interesting! it’s juicy! because these are humans with the power of gods!#of course there was a civilization where the elites saw themselves as gods!#of course their powers impacted the way they structured their society!#of course the stagnant westerosi society still holds onto values and practices from hundreds of years ago#…because they once had magical abilities that set them apart. and bc their society is so stagnant they still have these values and practices#…after they lost their magical abilities. and it makes complete sense that these magical abilities were lost!#magic is feared in westeros! anyone with these abilities is othered/an outcast. these inherent powers aren’t cultivated bc this is a society#…that fears and persecutes people with magic! and it makes total sense that this likely began with the arrival of the andals!#anyways magic is genetic ✌️#and it’s so cool that so many people in this universe may not know that they have these powers bc they live in a society that doesn’t care/#doesn’t cultivate said powers. jon snow is literally called a beast by other characters bc they think he’s a warg#westeros is not a safe space for my magical son#i’m ready to fight anyone who disagrees#it’s literally so fucking intresting and i’m glad that george doesn’t shy away from any of it#asoiaf#pro targaryen#asoiaf meta#also let’s not pretend that warging/greenseeing hasn’t been used for horrible things as well#hodor is right there. legends of the nights king show exactly what can happen when a very powerful greenseer is a horrific human#yeah anyways#maybe he wasn’t a greenseer but u get my point (i hope)#asoiaf fandom critical#ppl having issues w/ the dragonbond being genetic has always struck me as odd#but i’d lie if i said i didn’t know where this attitude came from#this whole post is a mess lmao#hopefully i got my point across but i dont rly care to edit 🤷♀️#this is def a word vomit
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there is a lot of very good commentary happening in the notes on that "did jgy kill jin rusong" poll in the tags, but i think i am finally too burnt out on that subject even to vote and reblog the poll. tl;dr i don't think there is a definitive answer either way and i don't need for there to be a definitive answer to find jin guangyao interesting and sympathetic.
#salty peak sect 🧂#he did crimes??? good for him 😌#i'm not trying to throw shade at anyone either i promise#i know lots of people still get something out of this debate#and i do too sometimes#some people are also new to the fandom and the story and are enmeshing themselves in this discussion for the first time#but for me it's becoming like the 'did mxy REALLY harass jgy' question#tho that one is worse since the text makes the answer to that question so clear lmao (it's yes. mxy did do the thing. let him be naughty)#but some things become less interesting to me if they have definitive answers#the jin rusong question has become one of those things for me
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Me: Covering multiple rp blogs can get a bit overwhelming at times and that's okay. I need to remember that they're just for fun, not a necessity. You don't need to respond immediately. Pace yourself.
Me: Anyways, with that new mindset in mind, time to go on with my life and-
My brain: Make another rp blog with your partially infected!Paul AU
Me: What?
My brain: You heard me.
OKAY BUT JOKES ASIDE I ACTUALLY HAVE A REALLY GOOD IDEA FOR THIS ONE-
Like- a joint account run by both Paul and Emma to hopefully spread awareness about their survivor camp, except shit obviously goes down because Paul's infected. You'd be able to talk to & rp with Emma and Paul of course, but you could also interact with like- a more infected/assimilated Paul (if that makes sense) and (if you so choose) Pokey himself.
DO YOU SEE MY VISION??? WOULD ANYONE BE INTERESTED IN ME MAKING THIS? /genq
#Disaster rambles#disaster try not to make an rp blog for one of your hatchetfield AUs challenge *inpossible* /silly#genuinely though if anyone would be interested in this let me know!#I've been itching to play an infected Paul for a while now lmao#tgwklm au#hatchetfield#hatchetblr#hatchetverse#hatchetfield au#hatchetfield rp#hatchetfield roleplay#tgwdlm
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!!!! Did you get the purple sauce for the wraps!!!!! It looks so good 🤤
i didn’t 🙂 they happened to have run out of the sauce by the time of my visit 🙂
#vee got an ask#i was so disappointed lmao 😭😭😭😭😭😭#like i think 80% of the interest i had in that wrap was bc of that sauce lol#if anyone had the sauce 🅱️lease let the audience know how it tasted they’re dying to know (me lol)
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some business creatures I made a while back that I like to draw from time to time. they don’t have names, just creatures shrugs
#original characters#ocs#original designs#crows art#SORRY FOR REPOST I THINK THE FIRST POST BROKE ??#or it just. was not appearing on dash. maybe i accidentally privately posted it???#ok. anyway. hope this one works x-( if not oh well lol#they’re actually like. shoulder angel/devil themed too#i dont feel like retyping the lore lmao if anyone's interested just let me know i guess lolol
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im kinda obsessed with the jasper route already and we barely know anything abt him... theres just something so delicious abt the imbalanced power dynamic of him with mc.. and idk he just seems so sweet!!!
i love jasper saur much you dont even know. i genuinely can't wait for you to meet him properly. his devotion to mc makes me feral, and im very excited to explore their dynamic more.
I was a little worried that people wouldn't like him as much because he's probably the least messy route, but im happy to see that's not the case:3
#thanks anon!#hes my sweet pookie bear he deserves so much love#if you want to anything else about him let me know!!#i was thinking about maybe perhaps having an option to have a fwb situation happen with jasper but idk#like with his devotion to mc its really not out of the question#but the question is would anyone be interested in a route like that Lmao#○jasper○
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I say this with the deepest sense of hatred imaginable, fuck this article
#‘read more’ no I don’t think I will#hey google why was this a recommended article. wanna tell me why that is. wanna tell me why you thought I’d like this shit#there’s a difference between an opinion piece and literal ableism lmao fuck you man#this especially hits a nerve for me because I was a quote unquote snobby kid who was really just autistic#yeah hate to break it to you but I wasn’t locking myself in my room everyday and destroying things and screaming because I was bored#it was because I had debilitating anxiety and sensory overload that I didn’t understand or know how to deal with#pretty funny how the ‘snobby’ behavior stopped almost the second I got on meds and learned coping skills. huh. interesting#actually fuck this by the way this makes me so angry I can’t even verbalize it#yes there are kids who are just Being Kids. but ever stop to consider that maybe they’re going through something they can’t verbalize#saying that autistic behaviors are bratty is So fucking damaging. ppl will internalize it and turn that stress towards themselves#meltdowns that would’ve otherwise been outward get internalized and start self destructive behavior#my fucking source? points at myself#and using the term ‘functioning’ also pisses me the hell off#yeah I’m ‘high functioning’ until I’m Not and I can’t talk or move#also Nobody is just handing out autism diagnoses left and right to random kids who are defiant sometimes#my brother in Christ I would like to see a source for that. where’s the proof that this is happening other than rising autism rates#fuck you fuck you and most importantly actually just plain fuck you#I’ve been treated like shit by total strangers because I have selective mutism. that shit is traumatic#I wasn’t fucking Misbehaving when an old fuck starting publically yelling at me and berating me because I didn’t say hi back to him#I wasnt being ‘defiant’ when I could barely leave my fucking room for weeks afterwards and had panic attacks every fucking day#why the fuck would anyone let this article be published#tw ableism#so sorry for not being ladylike! it’s not the Victorian era you dipshit! I’m not trying to be rude I am autistic#but apparently autism doesn’t work like that so oh ok I guess I’m just a bad person. thanks for confirming my suspicions
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thinking just a bit too hard about how the added depth given to tifa and aerith's friendship only increases the weight threatening to crush tifa after the forgotten capital, she already had so much to carry on her weary shoulders, she's going to have to carry even more when mideel happens, and it doesn't even stop after meteorfall, ohg od oh i love her so much i
#(sobbing and crying and snotting everywhere) AERITH GAVE HER SOMEONE TO CONFIDE IN ON SUCH A TUMULTUOUS JOURNEY#SOMEONE SHE COULD BE AS CLOSE TO FULLY RELAXED AS POSSIBLE#SOMEONE TO GOSSIP WITH OR SHARE HER CONCERNS OR JUST. BE A NORMAL GIRL WITH#YUFFIE'S THERE BUT SHE'S JUST A KID AND TIFA WOULD NEVER WANT TO HARM THE AIR OF CAREFREE CHILDISHNESS SHE MANAGES TO MAINTAIN EVEN IF#ITS BECAUSE YUFFIE IS HIDING THINGS THAT ARE CRUSHING HER#but poor tifa . gentle tifa. is now left to regret. to blame herself.#she has barret who acts like a father figure to her sure - but despite how much she cares about him and values her frienship with him#he's not aerith. he's not someone she can just gossip about first loves with. not someone she can fully Relate to. if you get what i mean#she is left to trace back the thread of how poor aerith got caught in this mess#she was the one to ask aerith to save marlene. but how did they get there? aerith refused to let cloud be a bystander in wall market#how did that happen? she made a risky choice that put her in a position where their paths crossed. why? because cloud was briefly lost#during the bombing mission. why did the bombing mission happen? she couldn't stop it. ETC ETC#NONE OF IT WAS HER FAULT... BUT SHE NEVER WANTED TO DRAG INNOCENT PEOPLE INTO THIS AT ANY SINGLE POINT#AND NOW SOMEONE WHO QUICKLY BECAME A CLOSE FRIEND IS GONE oh lord my heart#all of this added onto the things like how alone she was in nibelheim... it was just her and her dad for some years after the boys all left#and then the Incident happens and she loses that last person she had... and to an extent another she didn't even know was right there(cloud#god i could talk about her and how she has suffered more than jesus for ages (happy easter. lmao)#FF7 Rebirth spoilers#just in case?? for anyone who's only playing the remakes i guess. since this was basically already there the remakes just elaborate on it#i think about 'we found you!' 'i guess you did!' SO OFTEN#these two girls mean the world to me and i will not let you reduce them to love interest rivals#when tifa ran over to aerith's body i think everyone in the world heard my heart shattering into dust#these thoughts are a bit disjointed and don't articulate well what i mean but god. god. i am thinking about her today
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#vent#wow I will never be able to let myself have friends huh#I am unwanted and inherently unwantable#I have it all figured out I just can't DO anything right. why is breaking silence the hardest thing to do#I can't bring myself to make/maintain/deepen friendships bc I'm convinced that I'm unpleasant to be around and unpleasant to be friends with#my company is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy#<- completely unjustified belief. I am kind and friendly and capable of responding appropriately in the majority of social situations#they reach out and I shrink back every time. no matter how much they reach towards me I can't believe that they actually want me around#and ofc the reasonable thing for them to do is stop reaching! when I never reach back! why would they expect a different outcome this time#so I can't blame anyone. I can't sit around waiting for a saintly mindreader who can see that my actions contradict my feelings#I know I just need to reach out. but how could I do that when I'm convinced it'll only hurt them?#my presence makes their day worse. I'm a mangy dog begging for scraps I don't deserve at their table. I am harming them with my presence#how can I beg for their attention and company and time when I know their life would be better without me in it#<- false belief. when I reach out I make them feel wanted and they feel more comfortable reaching out to me when they know I like them.#everyone appreciates being reached out to. I am pleasant to be around. they like being liked by me. my company is a desirable thing#company in general is a desirable thing. my company is better than no company. people like being liked.#logically I know all this to be true. emotionally? they hate me and I deserve it and the more I show I like them the more they'll hate me#sigh. what a banal problem to have. I'll stop being 18 years old one day. I can't wait until I have better things to worry about#replies appreciated. btw. in the interest of asking for what I want instead of expecting ppl to read my mind lmao#narcissus's echoes
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youtube
oh hey the video is public now so i can post on tumblr about this without sounding insane! anyway everyone should go watch me and a few other speedrunners hunt fire for sport (randomizer edition)
#blossom.txt#hollow knight#blossom plays hollow knight#i have ~4 years of rando racing experience so i know how to analyze a rando seed to death#and be Very Normal about it#this was my first time doing hk pvp so i was not doing much of the hunting part lmao#i was more doing like tracking and strategizing and telling people where he probably was so they could kill :3#it was a really interesting one you should give it a watch!!!#(also if anyone has stuff they want to send asks abt i will absolutely jump on that chance to infodump :3)#(please let me infodump i'm very autism yippee yipee)#oh also having watched it back pye edited it to have proportionately more of my voice than is in the actual vod lmao#because i was mostly standing around talking abt what was in the seed bc i memorized the entire fucking 10 page doc i wrote#a normal thing to do on a thursday night#idk how i feel abt that because i hate my voice lmao but like hopefully kids in the comments aren't too mean T-T#i feel like with the amount of complexity a rando seed has focusing on the person who was telling everyone where the stuff is makes sense#so it's not necessarily a bad thing i just hate my voice ew ew ew#slightly disappointed that most of the discussion abt abyss got cut out#so there's just a few times we mention king's brand seemingly for no reason#but it was a Whole Thing where we were like 'why did he get shade cloak'???#because you wouldn't waste time going the long way all the way around peak for no reason right#there were several grubs in abyss and brand was on the way so i was trying to figure out when he would go to abyss#and he just...never did. why fire#threw off my whole plan by playing it like a svh game and not a spoiler rando race. smh#i wasted a bit of time just hanging around basin and he literally never set foot in there lmao#and then also guarding paum relic in fungal because it had hidden stag and if he went to get it i wanted to know about it#instead he just three cycled right fungal and did mantis lords....#cryign#also the amount of times shelby got jumpscared and attacked me thinking i was fire...oops#some of them didn't even make the cut it was so bad ahfdlkjhglkjdf
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do other artists ever invest a lot of money into art and it ends up a waste? like getting prints and stickers and stuff made and then not selling a single one? I never see other artists talk about that. i've only seen artists be successful. where are the artists like me who invest a ton of money into their art and end up empty handed? why does no one ever talk about that? is it one of those weird "taboo" things? are they just embarrased and hide it? or does literally everyone else succeed and it's just me that failed multiple times and wasted so much money 😭
#art#artist problems#artist#artists help#artists on tumblr#small artist#if i tag this will i get answers lmao#i genuinely want to know if this happens to others and i just dont see it or if it's just me#also what do you do about it 😅 i gave my prints and stickers away for free but cant afford to keep doing that#id love to do it tbh but free doesnt pay the fees#every time i make interest check posts now i get no response. how do you get people interested or support#or like how do you see how much interest there is before you invest? idk how to word what im trying to ask lmao#will anyone even see this post...that's one of my issues. im invisible 😅#lee text#also let me add i consider “successful” to be not loosing money. even if you break even i consider that a success personally
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